Penitent

O God, whose glory it is always to have mercy: Be gracious to all who have gone astray from your ways, and bring them again with penitent hearts, and steadfast faith to embrace and hold fast the unchangeable truth of your Word, Jesus Christ your Son; who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, on God, for ever and ever. Amen. 

(Collect for the Second Sunday in Lent)

From time to time, I feel a certain impatience with language intended to convey a theological concept, but instead impacts me as overly pious and lacking much connection to people's day to day lives. The appearance of the word penitent in today's collect is such an occasion. When used as an adjective (as in this prayer), penitent means, "feeling or expressing sorrow for sin or wrongdoing and disposed to atonement and amendment; contrite." Even the language used to define the term employs another layer of religious/theological terminology!

Sin.
Atonement.
Amendment.
Contrite.

Used as a noun, penitent means "a person who confesses sin and submits to penance." What's penance? "A punishment undergone in token of sorrow for sin." I can't help but wonder if all of this stained glass language simply serves to further distance us from confronting ourselves honestly and compassionately.

In my own life, I'm all too aware of the ways in which I have failed. Feeling sorrow comes easily. The guilt monster can overwhelm me with a sense of my own ineptitude. I know the helplessness of relationships broken by my own selfishness. And, if I'm not careful, such feelings do not assist me in correcting behaviors, rather they simply paralyze me with shame.

On the one hand, I don't think we can simply ignore the ways in which our tendency toward breaking relationships -- with ourselves, our loved ones, our communities or God -- is a manifestation of our own spiritual brokenness. And yet, I wonder if employing the language of punishment assists us in the amendment of life to which I believe Lent beckons us. I know all too well that the only way I can "hold fast" to the Good News of Jesus is because God, through Jesus, is already holding fast to me.

Perhaps remembering God always acts first and through such loving action empowers us to act as beloved of God is the first step on the way toward a new beginning.